Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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