we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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