my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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