OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
