We're like a lot better than the average bears
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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