I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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