Your tits are I can't wait for
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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