the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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