I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
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I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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