Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
