Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
