JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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