You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
