I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
