do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
