So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he told me I talked like a deaf person
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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