i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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