He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
