Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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