Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll

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(408): View more from California

No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!

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(630): View more from Illinois

That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.

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(716): View more from New York

as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.

(1-716): View more from New York

momma always taught us never to change for a boy..

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(416): View more from Toronto

He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.

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(630): View more from Illinois

he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.

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