I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
