he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
