I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
