Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
