don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
