he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
