One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
