My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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