can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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