Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
