what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
