Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
