i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
they're like a gay fantastic four
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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