you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize