Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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