We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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