I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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