shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize