life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
