If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
