You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The police scanner is talking about you again....
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He did a backflip because drugs
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
