Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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