I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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