if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
