I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
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