i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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