This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Randomize
