Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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