I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Oh god it's open bar.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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