I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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