Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My cat gives me a boner
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize