What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize